Tuesday, February 27, 2024

Cancer Musings (You Got This)

I have mentioned here before that God sends me a continuous stream of family, friends, church family, coworkers, and even strangers to encourage me along this cancer journey. I'm continually amazed at how each encouraging word, card, meal, hug, story, etc. comes at just the right time and in just the right way. I take it all as encouragement with the heart in which it was intended. I'm grateful for it, and it's very helpful to me.

The comment I probably hear the most is "You got this!" Again, I understand the sentiment behind this comment, and I am extremely appreciative of it. But, I will say this, if cancer has taught me anything it is that I do not have this. I have never been so aware of my fragility or of the fact that I do not sustain my own life. I can barely walk the length of the kitchen floor (not a big kitchen) without sitting down to rest. When I get dressed in the morning, I put on my pants and then I have to lay on the bed for a few minutes to rest before I can put on anything else. That process continues with each article of clothing I put on. I fear leaving something in my car when I get to work because I don't think I'll have the energy to walk back out and get it. These are all things I did effortlessly just a couple months ago and never gave it a second thought. 

I do not have this, but God does. He faithfully reminds me of this in all the encouraging people he puts in my path, in the many times he gets me through a day when I don't think I'm going to make it, and in bringing Scripture to my mind that reminds me of this truth. A Scripture passage that I memorized shortly after my parents moved in with us while we were caregiving for my mom has come back to me in this current journey. I used to wake up in the middle of the night during those days, anxious about the future. When that happened, I would quote these Bible verses to myself over and over until the anxiety went away or I fell asleep."  You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the LORD forever for the LORD God is an everlasting rock". Isaiah 26:3-4

God has this, and he can be trusted. 

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