The part of this cancer journey that's been harder for me than I realized it would be has been absorbing the reactions of friends, family, and coworkers as my physical appearance changes. In the past 11 months, I've lost 80+ pounds, lost all my hair, and now have a completely different wardrobe. In some situations, I'm wearing a hat, in some situations I'm wearing a wig. My face is thinner, which has changed my appearance. Even people who know me well sometimes don't recognize me when I walk into a room or when they see me out in public unexpectedly.
A couple months ago I was talking to a coworker in the lunchroom who knows me but hasn't seen me for awhile because she works from home most of the time now. We were a good 5 minutes into the conversation when I realized she had no idea who I was. She finally asked me what department I work in. When I told her I was in the training department she looked at me quizzically for a moment trying to absorb that information and place me. I'm the only employee in the training department, so I knew it wouldn't take long for her to figure it out. And she did.
The situation of a coworker, friend, or even a family member not recognizing me when I haven't seen them for a few weeks or months has become very familiar to me, and I've developed different strategies to lessen the blow for others and myself. I've become accustomed to entering the situation by saying, "Hi. It's Katrina". It's awkward, very awkward, but it does the the trick.
Sometimes I tell people why I look different, and sometimes I just let them draw their own conclusions or ask me if they are curious enough and time and situation allow an explanation. My favorite reaction was from a doctor at work. He asked me, in a crowded room in the middle of a work day, loudly, "Katrina, why do you look so different?" I said, "I lost weight and I have new hair". He said with a smile on his face and chuckle in his voice, "That must be it." and went merrily on his way. Asked and answered.
Many of the experiences that have come with this cancer journey I wasn't prepared for and wouldn't have known how to prepare for them. God has given me grace and answers at just the time I need them all along the way. He has been faithful. And I've learned He can be trusted in all situations of life.
No comments:
Post a Comment