Cancer Musings (Don't Overthink It)

Every couple of weeks, a new prescription of drug X appears in the mail. It is a chemotherapy drug It is packaged in a plastic bag that contains the words CAUTION: HAZARDOUS DRUG. It is accompanied by several sheets of papers containing cautionary words warning me not to let anyone else touch this drug, and if I touch it I should wash my hands before touching anything else. When I read those words, it does not escape me that I will be putting a large dosage of this drug into my mouth and swallowing it, twice a day. 

If I think about this for too long, I won't put this drug into my mouth. So, I don't think about it. I pray. I trust God. And I move forward with the prescribed plan. I ignore the well-meaning comments from friends and family telling me that they would not take chemo and only choose a course of natural remedies if they were diagnosed with cancer. I ignore it because I know now that you don't know exactly what you will do until you hear the words: "I'm sorry. You have cancer." Even then, you're often stuck between a hard decision you don't like and another hard decision you don't like. 

So ... I pray. I trust God. I move forward with the prescribed plan. And I remember that "In the infinite wisdom of the Lord of all the earth, each event falls with exact precision into its proper place in the unfolding of God's divine plan. Nothing, however small, however strange, occurs without His ordering or without its particular worthiness of its place in the working out of His purpose; and the end of all will be the manifestation of His glory, and accumulation of His praise. 

 

Cancer Musings (Oncology Appt-Cycle 3)

I just finished cycle 3 of drug X. Today I had my oncology appointment where my labs were checked and the plan was made to continue on with the next 21-day cycle (#4). The goal is to complete 8 cycles, but I can stop at 6 if I'm unable to tolerate it. So far, I'm tolerating it. It's rough on my hands and feet. It's painful and requires a lot of application of ointments and creams, which is time consuming. I've learned that consuming massive amounts of time is the most predominant side effect of the cancer journey. It's also the side effect that no one talks about.

Another strange side effect that goes with the hand and foot syndrome symptoms of this drug is that I no longer have fingerprints. Strange but true and said to be a temporary side effect. The fingerprints should return after the treatment course is over. Thankfully, my most recent phone uses face recognition or passcode technology and not a fingerprint reader. Otherwise, I'd be in trouble. 

All in all, the cancer battle is moving along toward the halfway mark in this final treatment. And God has proven Himself to be faithful and true all the way through.

Greg has come to most of my oncology appointments and we've kept up the habit of taking our picture together each time. Here's today's picture, the first without a hat in many months: 

Cancer Musings (the hair journey)

My hair is finally growing back and at a comfortable length to wear in public. I dubbed today "wear your real hair to work day. I have ditched the wig, and I'm going with the pixie style from here on out (until it grows longer anyway). 

Here's my cancer hair experience in pictures. 

This is what my hair looked like in November of last year, when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer. 

I got my hair cut to a shoulder-length style in early December with the impending hair loss in mind. 

I started chemo on December 13, and the hair loss started shortly after that.

And the progression was rapid. 

I started wearing hats right away. 

All my hair was gone by December 31. 

I wore hats outside of work (even at home). At work, I wore a wig. This is the one I wore December through May. 

And this is the wig I wore June through October. 

I acquired quite a collection of hats during that time and enjoyed wearing them. 

This is what my head looked like on my last day of chemo (Taxol) in May. This is the only picture I allowed to be taken of it. 

This is what my hair looks like today. 

I'm grateful to God that my hair is back, and I was amazed to watch the process while it happened. 

God has made the human body to be very resilient, and I got a chance to witness that. 

When I was first diagnosed with cancer, I thought that losing my hair would be the hardest part of it. As it turns out, it was one of the easiest side effects I experienced in this process. 

I'm so grateful to God for sustaining me through this whole process. And I'm grateful to have hair again.