This has been a hard week for me in terms of caregiving. Mama has been ill. Her memory has been poor. We thought she had another UTI, but she didn't. This got me to thinking such thoughts as "What if her mind is failing? What is the future going to hold? How do I make the right decisions to help her and to help my dad?" It feels too big for me, too many unanswered questions. I feel like I don't have enough resources. I don't know the answers.
I've been reading in Matthew this week, and this morning I came to this passage about Jesus in Matthew 8.
23 And when he got into the boat, his disciples followed him. 24 And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was asleep. 25 And they went and woke him, saying, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing.” 26 And he said to them, “Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?” Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. 27 And the men marveled, saying, “What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey him?” Matthew 8:23-27
Even the winds and waves obey Him. I said to myself. He knows everything. He made everything. O you of little faith, what is there to fear? And with that, there was a great calm in the storm of my troubled soul.
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