Caregiving-Advice From Older Women (Revive 17) 10/09/17

Last weekend, my friend Kim and I were able to get away for a weekend retreat to Indianapolis. We attended the Revive Our Hearts Conference for women in leadership. It's called Revive 17. The theme this year was mentoring.

There were 2,900 women in attendance, a great mix of older and younger women. God allowed me to have two encounters with older women that spoke to me right where I was at the time.

Encounter 1:

The same two women sat next to us through the whole conference. They sought us out on the second day because "they liked our Minnesota accents". We never knew their names. They were friendly yet guarded. At the end of one of the teaching sessions, we were given time to pray with those around us, and we did so. The lady sitting closest to me intensely started telling Kim and I that we should cherish the relationships with our mothers right now. Her mother was gone now. She died with Alzheimer's disease as part of her story. In the end, she did not remember her daughter or know who she was.

She said, "You don't know how long your mothers will be around. Spend time with them now. Forget the past. Enjoy them now. Talk to them." She kept repeating her advice with urgency. I am particularly tender to this kind of advice at the moment, so tears streamed down my face the entire time she spoke. I kept saying "Thank you. We will. Thank you."

I appreciate advice given to me out of the experience of others. It's raw and pure and meaningful. I also realize that nothing happens without the ordering of God. God speaks to us in His Word, He speaks to us in the beauty of the creation that He made, and at times He reaches down and speaks to us directly through the words and experiences of those around us.


Encounter 2:

I was in the bookstore looking at the Bibles. I have a project I'm working on right now and was looking for another journaling Bible. The woman next to me was also looking at the Bibles. We shared a few words about why we were each looking at the Bibles. She had her eye on a large print Bible. It was a nice one. I encouraged her to buy it. We were separated for a time, each looking at products and moving around the room. We found each other again right before we were about to make our purchases. I said, "I see you decided to get the Bible. I'm glad." Then she said words I will always remember:

She said, "Yes. It will probably be the last Bible I ever buy."

I was not expecting those words. It was clear by her reaction that my shock at hearing those words showed on my face.

She said, "It's okay. I just turned 70 years old. I don't think I'll buy another Bible in my lifetime. Then she held my hand in hers and said, "You remember this some day. Remember the woman in the bookstore who isn't afraid to die. Look back and remember this time. You'll be in this spot someday."

I said, "I will. And please write something in that Bible that will mean something to your children, words specifically from you." This referenced a conversation we had earlier about the reason I was making my Bible purchase. She said, "I will."

It was a sweet moment and a short beautiful conversation. I will always remember it.

Friendship Musings

This past weekend my good friend, Kim, and I celebrated our 12-year friendship anniversary with a road trip to Schaumburg, Illinois. We were privileged to attend the Revive 13 conference hosted by Revive Our Hearts radio ministry. This particular conference focuses on women in leadership roles in their churches. The speakers this year were: Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Paul Tripp, and Elyse Fitzpatrick (need I say more--so good). 

Kim and I were also able to spend some time with Melissa (pictured below) over the weekend. We met Melissa at the very end (literally, it was the last few minutes) of the conference we attended in 2011. Melissa and I have been in contact several times in the past two years via e-mail, texting, and phone conversations. I was happy to hear she was attending the conference again. Kim and I were able to sit with her during the conference main sessions and enjoy dinner together both nights of the conference. It was a lovely time. 

All the speakers were very good, each speaking Biblical truth with passion and compassion. 

Here's a takeaway from each speaker that my mind has returned to many times since leaving the conference. 

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Speaking on 1 Samuel 4:1-4 and referring to "God our help", she said, "Some people would rather live in defeat for a very long time than do what it takes to get help, which may include a willingness to get rid of the gods we are leaning on for help and turn to the true God (Jehovah Ezer, God our helper). 

Paul Tripp: Speaking from Mark 6:45-53 said this: "God will take you where you did not intend to go in order to produce in you what you could not achieve on your own." 

Elyse Fitzpatrick: Speaking from 1 John 1:1-10 said: "Walking in the light (as were told to do in this passage) does not mean we are sinless. It means we live openly and transparently. We live our lives without hiding. Sin makes us want to hide. Walking in the light eventuates in holiness."

The breakout sessions were equally rich. We enjoyed the entire time. We thank God for the opportunity to attend the conference and for this now 12-year long friendship. May He use both to make us more like Jesus. 

Husband Encouragement Challenge

A few posts ago, I mentioned the 30-day challenges from Revive Our Hearts ministry. I mentioned that I participated in the 30-day Husband Encouragement Challenge last year but neglected to tell what it was about. The premise of the challenge is that for the next 30 days (after you start the challenge) you can't say anything negative about your husband, to your husband, or to anyone else about your husband. Ladies, I think even in the best of marriages, we could all agree, that is a challenge. The fine people at Revive Our Hearts took this challenge a step further and provided material that gives an extra challenge each day (Example: Day 1: Identify a way that your husband is serving you or your family. Let him know that you see his unique service as a great strength.) They also provide supporting ideas and Scripture readings. If you would like to check it out, click here. There is a free download available to help you get started. I highly recommend it.

Tip: I printed out the challenge and pasted it into a notebook (each day with its own page). This helped me concentrate on it, keep it all in one spot, and give it the daily attention it required.

30-Day Challenges

As mentioned in previous posts, I will be spending this month blogging about last year and looking ahead to some plans for the year to come. If I had to name one radio ministry that I gleaned the most from in 2011, it would have to be Revive our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss. This particular ministry is geared toward women and offers much in the way of tools for growing in your faith. One tool I utilized this year was "The 30-day challenge". This ministry offers several of them including "The 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge", "The 30-Day Choosing Gratitude Challenge", "The 30-Day TV Free Challenge", "31-Days of Praying For Your Pastor" and others. I did the "30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge" and "30-Day Choosing Gratitude Challenge". The website provides printable downloads for each challenge. I printed off the downloads and pasted them into my journal so I had them in one place and could work through them day by day. I found them very encouraging and (as the name implies) challenging! I only made it halfway through the gratitude challenge in December so will be repeating that this year as well as checking out one of the other challenges. Ladies, I highly encourage you to check out this resource. Click here to find the information you need to participate in one of these challenges.

Meaningful Christmas

Revive our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss recently aired a few helpful radio programs on "keeping Christmas more meaningful". Click here to listen to the first program in the series titled "How to Quiet Your Heart at Christmas". I find this women's ministry (Revive Our Hearts) very helpful and I found this particular radio series thought provoking. I recommend checking it out.

Indianapolis

Here's a few highlights from the trip Kim and I took to Indianapolis over the weekend to attend a Revive Our Hearts conference.

We set out on Thursday morning and arrived in Brownsburg, Indiana at about 8 pm that evening. We had supper with our friend, Jewel, and stayed the night with her landlords who had a couple extra guest rooms and graciously offered them to us for the night.

We set out for Indianapolis on Friday morning, about 30 minutes away from Jewel's house (hitting a couple garage sales along the way, Kim has a hard time resisting a garage sale). The leaves were at peak for color in Indiana, so it was a beautiful drive.

We arrived at the beautiful Marriott in Indianapolis on Friday

afternoon. The conference started at 2 pm and went until 10:30 pm on Friday, then started up again on Saturday morning at 8:30 am and went until 4:00 pm.

On Saturday evening, we met our friend

Jewel for supper and walked around Indianapolis.

On Sunday morning we began the road trip back home, arriving back in Minnesota around 6:30 pm.

The conference was Christ honoring and extremely beneficial for future ministry.

The fellowship was sweet (with Kim, with Jewel, and with several new friends made at the conference). It was time well spent.

Revive 11 Conference

The Revive 11 conference was a wonderful time. It was held in Indianapolis, Indiana. As we arrived at our seats, we found this gift of a canvas bag containing various helpful resources (including an ESV study Bible, given by Crossway publishers).

The theme of the conference was "Women Serving Women", and it was geared toward pastor's wives and women's ministry leaders. It was put on by Revive Our Hearts ministry. The speakers were: Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Crawford Loritts, and Susan Hunt with music by Fernando Ortega (beautiful, worshipful hymns that made you want to love Jesus more).

I've attended many women's retreats and conferences over the years. This one lacked a driving emotional undertone that is often present at such events. Rather than emotion, a love for Christ and His purposes fulfilled in women seemed to motivate (and carry) this event. I thoroughly enjoyed it. If you're not familiar with this ministry, I encourage you to check it out.

Celebrating Friendship

Expect sporadic posts to this blog from now through next Monday.

My friend Kim and I are on our way to Indianapolis, IN. We'll be attending the Revive 11 conference put on by Revive Our Hearts ministry. It's geared toward women's ministry leaders (of which Kim is one). We're looking forward to it (the conference and a good road trip).

We decided to attend this conference/retreat as a celebration of our friendship. Our friendship was established at a women's retreat through our church 10 years ago (that's right, it's our 10-year friendship anniversary--no need to send cards, chocolate will suffice). Out of gratitude for what we've been given, we've always celebrated our friendship, but for the 10-year celebration, we went big (Nancy Leigh DeMoss or bust).

I thank God frequently for my friendship with Kim. If you looked at Kim and me on the surface you wouldn't find two people with very much in common, but our anchor of commonality is a love for Jesus Christ. Our friendship is built around Him and, therefore, it is a good friendship. The only thing extraordinary about the two women involved in this friendship is the Savior whom they love. And that is enough to make it a remarkable thing!

He is God; I am Not

On days leading up to a conference at the end of this week, I've been reading some specific devotional material from Revive Our Hearts ministry. I'd like to share with you one day's reading in particular (the text for that day was Job 38). It is as follows:

"Have you ever in your life commanded the morning, and caused the dawn to know its place?" Job 38:12 (NASB)

We need to hear this question from God every time we forget that he is God and we are not. It is so easy to slip into a prideful spirit, protecting our own little kingdoms, thinking, I have it all under control, and if everyone else would get in line, things would run so much smoother!

When we attempt to take on God and challenge him with the injustice of our situation we can become like a child having a temper tantrum, screaming out accusations to a caring parent, "Why did you do that?!" Although Job wasn't screaming, and although he threw no fits and seemed rather patient, in his character was an accusation of injustice made against God. So in a barrage of more than eighty questions, God proceeded to move Job from his position of challenger to a much humbler place of speechlessness.

If we're not careful, our hearts and wounds will grow infected with resentment and self-pity. Out of our pain, we may strike back at Him with an accusatory "Why?!" We allow ourselves to ignore the truth of His Word--the fact that He cares for us and will never leave us or forsake us, that He desires to comfort us in our affliction--and instead we stand as His accuser. That's when we need to hear Him ask, "Have you ever in your life commanded the morning, and caused the dawn to know its place?"

We need to remind ourselves regularly, although I may imagine that I am right and have all the answers, I didn't cause the sun to rise this morning! He is God; I am not!

Prone to Wander

I was listening to Revive Our Hearts Radio program the other day, to a show titled “Prone to Wander”. I transcribed a small part of the program (that I felt was worthy of quoting) so I could share it with you on the blog today. It is as follows:

In commenting on the evil of idolatry, Nancy Leigh DeMoss said: This is no small matter to God. We need to see our sin as evil in the sight of the Lord. How does He view it compared to the standard of His awesome holiness? Every sin is evil in the sight of the Lord.

I received an e-mail from a woman this week stating: “My husband and I have just gone through some major transitions with our finances, which were holding our whole family in bondage. As God freed us from the bondage in the financial area, it became apparent to me that I have switched bondages from money to food. I think about it constantly. I shop for food whether we need it or not under the pretense of it being on sale. I hide food in my bedroom drawers. When you said that we should have nothing in our lives that holds us back from God, I realized how wrong I have been.”

We will never get freedom from bondage and idolatry if we do not come to see it as evil in the sight of the Lord. The Apostle John says in 1 John 5:21 “Little children [covenant people] keep yourselves from idols.” Keep yourselves from idols.

Proud or Broken?

A few months ago, I listened to a Revive Our Hearts program about brokenness. Nancy Leigh DeMoss asked "Are you a proud person or a broken person?" She then listed the characteristics of a proud person and the characteristics of a broken (humble) person. I can't think of a person alive who couldn't benefit from reviewing this list (present company most definitely included), so I transcribed it for you and listed it here in this blog post. May God use it greatly in your life, as He is doing in mine.

Proud people focus on the failures of others but broken people are overwhelmed with the sense of their own spiritual need. Proud people are self-righteous. They have a critical, fault-finding spirit. But broken people are compassionate. They can forgive much because they know how much they have been forgiven. They think the best of others, and they esteem all others as better than themselves. Proud people have an independent, self-sufficient spirit, but broken people have a dependent spirit and recognize their need for others. Proud people have to prove they are right, but broken people are willing to yield the right to be right. Proud people claim rights and have a demanding spirit, but broken people yield their rights and have a meek spirit. Proud people are self-protective of their time, their rights, and their reputation, but broken people are self-denying. Proud people desire to be served, but broken people are motivated to serve others. Proud people desire to be a success, but broken people are motivated to be faithful and to make others a success. Proud people desire for self advancement, but broken people desire to promote others. Proud people have a drive to be recognized, to be appreciated. They are wounded when others are promoted and they are overlooked. But broken people have a sense of their own unworthiness. They are thrilled that God would use them at all in any ministry. They are eager for others to get the credit, and they rejoice when others are lifted up. Proud people have a subconscious feeling, "This ministry is privileged to have me and my gifts. They think of what they can do for God. But broken people have the heart attitude that says "I don't deserve to have any part in this ministry, and they know that they have nothing to offer God except the life of Jesus flowing through their broken lives. Proud people feel confident in how much they know, but broken people are humbled by how very much they have to learn. Proud people are self-conscious, but broken people are not concerned with self at all. Proud people keep others are arm's length, but broken people are willing to risk getting close to others and to take the risk of loving intimately. Proud people are quick to blame others, but broken people accept personal responsibility and can see where they are wrong in the situation. Proud people are unapproachable, but broken people are easy to be entreated. Proud people are defensive when criticized, but broken people receive criticism with a humble, open spirit. Proud people are concerned with being respectable. They are concerned with what others think, and they are working to protect their own image and reputation. But broken people are concerned with being real. What they care about and what matters to them is not what others think but what God knows, and they are willing to die to their own reputation. Proud people find it difficult to share their spiritual needs with others. Broken people are willing to be open and transparent with others as God directs. Proud people, when they have sinned, want to make sure that no one finds out. Their instinct is to cover up. But broken people, once they have been broken, they don't care who knows, who finds out. They are willing to be exposed because they have nothing to lose. Proud people have a hard time saying, "I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?" But broken people are quick to admit their failure and to seek forgiveness when necessary. When confessing their sin, proud people tend to deal in generalities, but broken people are able to deal under the conviction of God's Spirit to acknowledge specifics. Proud people are concerned about the consequences of their sin, but broken people are grieved over the cause, the root of their sin. Proud people are remorseful over their sin, sorry that they got found out or caught. But broken people are truly, genuinely repentant over their sin, which is acknowledged in the fact that they forsake that sin. When there is a conflict or misunderstanding in a relationship, proud people wait for the other to come and ask for forgiveness. But broken people take the initiative to be reconciled. They race to the cross. They see if they can get there first, no matter how wrong the other may have been. Proud people compare themselves with others. They feel worthy of honor. Broken people compare themselves to the holiness of God and feel a desperate need for his mercy.

Proud people are blind to their real heart condition. Broken people walk in the light. Proud people don't think they have anything to repent of, but broken people realize that they have need of a continual heart attitude of repentance. Proud, unbroken people don't think they need revival, but they are sure that everyone else does. Whereas, humble, broken people continually sense their need for a fresh encounter with God.

Preparation for Easter

The past several years, I've spent at least the preceding month before Easter focusing on Christ in my daily Bible reading time or in other focused activities around that time (i.e., memorizing Scripture, a specific devotional book).

A couple ideas for you:

1. This year, a friend and I are memorizing Isaiah 53 during this month leading up to Resurrection Day. John 1 (or a section of it) would be another excellent passage to memorize for this occasion.
2. Ladies, Nancy Leigh DeMoss (from Revive Our Hearts ministry) is focusing her teaching on the book The Incomparable Christ by J Oswald Sanders over the next month. She recommends getting the book and reading a chapter each day while following along with her teachings on her daily radio broadcast.

What will you do to focus on Christ during this time?