Caregiving-Cheap Entertainment (10/24/2017)

My mom loves audiobooks. We have a bunch of books downloaded to her smart phone, and she listens to them all night long. She can and has listened to the same book over and over again. Her current favorite series is the "Love Comes Softly" series by Janette Oke. It turns out that only 4 of  the 8-book series has been recorded. If the recordings were out there for the other books, my Papa-Larry would have found them by now. He's a relentless resource finder. He leaves no stone unturned. He eventually settled on buying the complete series in paperback form. There has been some thought given to me recording them myself, but the time has not yet been given to that project. For now, I lay on the floor by her bed at night and read a few chapters to her. It was intimidating at first because she is very picky about the narrators she listens to. If she doesn't like the voice, they're done by chapter 2, never to be heard from again. I guess I must have made the cut because she wants me to keep reading. It's a sweet time, really. Elaborate outings of entertainment have been replaced with quiet bedside reading, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I keep reminding myself to "cherish this time while you have it."

Caregiving-Advice From Older Women (Revive 17) 10/09/17

Last weekend, my friend Kim and I were able to get away for a weekend retreat to Indianapolis. We attended the Revive Our Hearts Conference for women in leadership. It's called Revive 17. The theme this year was mentoring.

There were 2,900 women in attendance, a great mix of older and younger women. God allowed me to have two encounters with older women that spoke to me right where I was at the time.

Encounter 1:

The same two women sat next to us through the whole conference. They sought us out on the second day because "they liked our Minnesota accents". We never knew their names. They were friendly yet guarded. At the end of one of the teaching sessions, we were given time to pray with those around us, and we did so. The lady sitting closest to me intensely started telling Kim and I that we should cherish the relationships with our mothers right now. Her mother was gone now. She died with Alzheimer's disease as part of her story. In the end, she did not remember her daughter or know who she was.

She said, "You don't know how long your mothers will be around. Spend time with them now. Forget the past. Enjoy them now. Talk to them." She kept repeating her advice with urgency. I am particularly tender to this kind of advice at the moment, so tears streamed down my face the entire time she spoke. I kept saying "Thank you. We will. Thank you."

I appreciate advice given to me out of the experience of others. It's raw and pure and meaningful. I also realize that nothing happens without the ordering of God. God speaks to us in His Word, He speaks to us in the beauty of the creation that He made, and at times He reaches down and speaks to us directly through the words and experiences of those around us.


Encounter 2:

I was in the bookstore looking at the Bibles. I have a project I'm working on right now and was looking for another journaling Bible. The woman next to me was also looking at the Bibles. We shared a few words about why we were each looking at the Bibles. She had her eye on a large print Bible. It was a nice one. I encouraged her to buy it. We were separated for a time, each looking at products and moving around the room. We found each other again right before we were about to make our purchases. I said, "I see you decided to get the Bible. I'm glad." Then she said words I will always remember:

She said, "Yes. It will probably be the last Bible I ever buy."

I was not expecting those words. It was clear by her reaction that my shock at hearing those words showed on my face.

She said, "It's okay. I just turned 70 years old. I don't think I'll buy another Bible in my lifetime. Then she held my hand in hers and said, "You remember this some day. Remember the woman in the bookstore who isn't afraid to die. Look back and remember this time. You'll be in this spot someday."

I said, "I will. And please write something in that Bible that will mean something to your children, words specifically from you." This referenced a conversation we had earlier about the reason I was making my Bible purchase. She said, "I will."

It was a sweet moment and a short beautiful conversation. I will always remember it.

Caregiving-The Worker Bee (10/18/2017)

My Mama is a hard worker and always has been. Now that she's less mobile in life we've had to redefine "how" she works. Most of her work is done from a chair now, but it's just as significant. She's a big help to us around the house. And she is by far the most cheerful worker in the household. 

Here are some of the activities that fill her days

Picking vegetables in the garden 

Cleaning vegetables 

Buttering bread

Making smoothie bags

Washing the table

Loading the dishwasher

Organizing the containers and lids

Caregiving-This is the day (10/17/2017)

This morning started out with the usual routine, I helped Mama out of bed. We used an assistive device to move her about the room. I helped her clean up and change her clothing.

In the middle of all that, she continually raised her hands and said, "This is the day the LORD has made. Let's rejoice and be glad in it." (from Psalm 118)

After that encounter it's hard to move freely as you please through the rest of your day (on your own two feet) without having a heart of gratitude.

Cookie Baking Night (10/23/17)

Tonight was Cookie Baking Night. In attendance this evening: Emily, Allison, Rylar, and Enzo. Tonight we made our traditional fall favorite: Pumpkin Patch Brownies.

First, we had to make the frosting (Aunt Katrina pre-baked the brownies, so that was done for us)

Next, we frosted the brownies

Then we put the candy pumpkins on top.

Next, our favorite part, putting on the "vines"

The finished products

Tonight, we continued in our book "Leading Little Ones to God". We read lesson 2 "We Cannot See God". We learned that God is spirit, and He is Holy. Emily read Psalm 104: 1-13 for us. 

We ended the evening with a lovely game of Zingo.

Really, it was lovely (and fun). There were happy moments (though you can't quite tell it in the picture above)

While I was helping the boys get into their pajamas, my cell phone was hijacked by the girls

They had a few "selfie" moments

As usual, a fun time was had by all.

Caregiving-An Unexpected Start (10/16/2017)

Today started out like a typical Monday morning. I got up, got dressed, checked on the parents, drove to work. I commute 25 miles to work each day, which takes 45-60 min with traffic. I was 1 mile from reaching my destination when my phone rang. It was my Dad-Larry. He asked how far along I was in the journey. Because of his hearing impairment, he rarely calls me, so I knew this was not just for the sake of a friendly chat. He then told me that when he was trying to get Mama cleaned up this morning, she slipped out of bed. She isn't strong enough to raise herself up from an kneeling position, and he didn't think he could do it without hurting her or himself. I told him I would turn around. When I arrived back at home, Papa-Larry and I worked to get Mama repositioned and back up to a sitting position. My dad was flustered and my mom was worn out. I decided to stay home and take care of my family today.

We were suspicious the previous Monday that my Mama had a bladder infection, but when we took her in for the test, the results came back negative. No infection. It was clear now that she had an infection, and we needed to do what we could to convince the medical clinic of that. I worked with the nurse at the urologist's office to get another test done. She agreed that she must have an infection, so she was started on an antibiotic until the results came back. We drove to the clinic and got the lab test performed. It did come back later as an infection, and a new medication was started. 

If my memory serves me correctly, this is infection number 18 in the past two years. Each one is different, and each one teaches us about the conditions of our own hearts, the power of love to motivate us beyond what we previously thought ourselves to be capable of, and the faithfulness of God. 

The Slow Decline (10/12/2017)

I've been thinking tonight about how gracious God is, and how tender he has been in the decline of my mom's health. Her body started getting old far sooner than she was ready. It has been at least 10 years now since her body started failing her. She took each change in stride. She started to use a cane to help her walk. Then she started using a walker. Then she stopped driving, voluntarily. This was a huge step. She was always independent and fearless about driving. She would go anywhere. But the day came when she realized she didn't have enough feeling in her feet to drive safely. She didn't want to be a hazard to others on the road, so she just stopped. She let it go. She was brave. She didn't make a big deal about it, even though it was a really big deal. She never looked back. She has handled each change in her health in this same way. She has taken it as it has come, made adjustments, and trusted God with it.