Cancer Musings (Oncology Appt)

 Today I had an oncology appointment to check my progress on drug X. I just completed my second 21-day cycle of the drug. It's going okay so far. The side effects are manageable and my labs are okay enough to continue on. So, my "prize" is I get to take drug X for another 21-day cycle. 

Greg wasn't able to leave work for today's appointment, so I was on my own. Not only do I enjoy having him with me for a second set of ears and he asks good questions, he's also a much better selfie taker than I am. He was missed in many ways.

Cancer Musings (Appearance Reactions)

The part of this cancer journey that's been harder for me than I realized it would be has been absorbing the reactions of friends, family, and coworkers as my physical appearance changes. In the past 11 months, I've lost 80+ pounds, lost all my hair, and now have a completely different wardrobe. In some situations, I'm wearing a hat, in some situations I'm wearing a wig. My face is thinner, which has changed my appearance.  Even people who know me well sometimes don't recognize me when I walk into a room or they see me out in public unexpectedly. 

A couple months ago I was talking to a coworker in the lunchroom who knows me but hasn't seen me for awhile because she works from home most of the time now. We were a good 5 minutes into the conversation when I realized she had no idea who I was. She finally asked me what department I work in. When I told her I was in the training department she looked at me quizzically for a moment trying to absorb that information and place me. I'm the only employee in the training department, so I knew it wouldn't take long for her to figure it out. And she did. 

The situation of a coworker, friend, or even a family member not recognizing me when I haven't seen them for a few weeks or months has become very familiar to me, and I've developed different strategies to lessen the blow for others and myself. I've become accustomed to entering the situation by saying, "Hi. It's Katrina". It's awkward, very awkward, but it does the the trick. 

Sometimes I tell people why I look different, and sometimes I just let them draw their own conclusions or ask me if they are curious enough and time and situation allow an explanation. My favorite reaction was from a doctor at work. He asked me, in a crowded room in the middle of a work day, loudly, "Katrina, why do you look so different?" I said,  "I lost weight and I have new hair".  He said with a smile on his face and chuckle in his voice, "That must be it." and went merrily on his way. Asked and answered. 

Many of the experiences that have come with this cancer journey I wasn't prepared for and wouldn't have known how to prepare for them. God has given me grace and answers at just the time I need them all along the way. He has been faithful. And I've learned He can be trusted in all situations of life.

Cancer Musings (Emergency Room Visit)

Today I made a trip to the emergency room at our local hospital. I was having some chest pains, which is a possible side effect of the most recent chemo drug I'm taking. Rather than spending the day second guessing if I was having a heart attack, I was persuaded I should go in and get it checked out. When you're going through cancer treatment, there is a tendency to constantly second guess every little thing that happens in your body. Is it a side effect of some treatment (because they all have side effects) or is it something more serious?

Everything checked out fine. No heart attack (likely some radiating pain from a strained muscle in my arm). We were out of there in under 2-1/2 hours, which is pretty good for a trip to the emergency room on a Saturday afternoon. 

This is a picture of the CNA who was on duty this afternoon. He performed the EKG and did the blood draw on me. I couldn't help but take his picture each time he left and walked back into the room (which I think he found a little distracting and slightly odd). He was very good at his job. Usually, it's pretty difficult to do a blood draw on me (hard to find a vein, many attempts are made), but this guy got it on the first try. I'm glad he was on duty today. 

He told me he wasn't on the schedule to work today; he had just picked up a shift. 

This was no accident or coincidence as far as I'm concerned. 

I believe God put him there at just that time. And I'm glad he was there. 

Oh yeah, "this guy" just happens to be my brother. 

Cancer Musings (Oncology Appt)

Today was my first follow-up appointment with the oncologist after starting drug X (chemo pill). The side effects have been less on this drug than the infused drugs were, for which I am grateful. I finished my first 21-day cycle and got the go-ahead to start the next one. 

Greg has faithfully attended every oncologist appointment I've had. And by the grace of God, his schedule allowed him to do so. It has been a blessing to have him with me during the appointments, as sometimes my head stops on a particular piece of information and doesn't continue processing the rest of what I'm hearing. Greg picks up the slack for me then and asks questions or retells me what I missed later. I'm so grateful for him.