Cancer Musings (Oncology Appt)

Today was my first follow-up appointment with the oncologist after starting drug X (chemo pill). The side effects have been less on this drug than the infused drugs were, for which I am grateful. I finished my first 21-day cycle and got the go-ahead to start the next one. 

Greg has faithfully attended every oncologist appointment I've had. And by the grace of God, his schedule allowed him to do so. It has been a blessing to have him with me during the appointments, as sometimes my head stops on a particular piece of information and doesn't continue processing the rest of what I'm hearing. Greg picks up the slack for me then and asks questions or retells me what I missed later. I'm so grateful for him. 

Cancer Musings (The New Drug)

Last week I started the new chemo drug. We'll call it drug X. This drug is being used as a maintenance therapy. Triple Negative Breast Cancer is somewhat rare (10-15% of all breast cancers diagnosed are triple negative/non-estrogen dependent). It is aggressive (it grows fast). And it has a high return rate within 5 years. The lower the stage the better the chance of it not returning sooner. Mine was stage 1. 

There has been success in recent studies for women who have done this maintenance drug after traditional chemo, surgery, and radiation. A high percentage of them are still alive after 5 years. Encouraging and sobering at the same time. But, really, nothing has changed. My days have always been numbered. God has known the exact number of my days on this earth before I was even born. I will get no more than that and no less. And within that prescribed number of days is a story. I'm living out that story right now. Cancer is part of mine. It is one of the things God will use to bring Himself glory and allow me to see His goodness in all things. 

The way this chemo pill works is that I take it two times a day (3 pills/2x a day) for a cycle and then return to see the oncologist to check in and have labs drawn and get the okay to start another cycle. A "cycle" is 21 days. Within that 21 days, I take this chemo pill twice a day for 14 days and then I stop taking it for 7 days. Today is day 8 in the first cycle, and so far so good. It's not without its side effects (nausea and general chemo weirdness for lack of a better explanation), but it is tolerable so far. The goal with this treatment is to complete 8 cycles (about 6 months) if I tolerate it. 

And onward we go. 

Cancer Musings (Birthday)

Today is my birthday. I turned 55 years old today. I'm grateful for another year and the opportunity to glorify God on this earth. I've felt every moment of this year, and it's made me appreciate things more. 

No big outward celebration this year, but it was very celebratory nonetheless. I spent the day at work and enjoyed several coworkers stopping by to enjoy a birthday cookie with me. My coworkers have been so kind to me throughout this year, and God has used them to encourage me and keep me going throughout the whole year. 

For dinner this evening, Greg (and Papa-Larry) took me out to a restaurant. They were a bit surprised by my choice. Buffalo Wild Wings. I wasn't looking for expensive and I wasn't looking for fancy, but I was looking for chocolate cake. It is a little known fact (until today) that one of the best pieces of chocolate cake you'll find in a restaurant is at Buffalo Wild Wings. True story. Usually, Greg and I split a piece, but since today we were splitting it amongst three people, I ordered two pieces (happy birthday to me). Through most of this past year, I didn't eat chocolate because I couldn't stand the taste of it (an experience that had been completely foreign to me up to this point in life). The joy of tasting chocolate has returned for the moment, and I knew just where and how to celebrate that little victory. I had my piece of chocolate cake, and it did not disappoint. 

 I will be starting the new chemo drug (an oral pill) next week. My only request concerning this next treatment was to start it after September 4. I have felt physically well this past month, and I wanted to enjoy that feeling (and be able to taste cake) on my birthday. God allowed me that joy. He is so good, and He is in this story.

Cancer Musings (Oncology Appointment/Update)

Today I had an appointment with my oncologist to discuss the next chemo treatment. I was diagnosed with breast cancer back in early November, and in the past nine months I've had two courses of IV chemo (Adriamycin & Taxol), surgery, and radiation treatment. The treatments were hard on me, and the side effects were rough. They exhausted me and weakened me. At moments, they discouraged me. But far more than any other thing, I have been encouraged by the goodness of God and and the kindness of people through this entire journey. I can say with Nehemiah of the Bible, "the joy of the Lord has been my strength" (Nehemiah 8:10). 

In the past month, I have felt very good. My appetite and taste of food has mostly returned, and my energy levels rival those of pre-November days. I am so grateful to God for the gift of feeling well at the present time. 

Today's appointment with the oncologist went well, and I will start an oral chemo drug in mid-September. The purpose of the drug is to lessen the risk of recurrence. It has been proven to be effective in women with triple-negative breast cancer. I will be on it for six months. I'm not looking forward to the side effects that inevitably come with any chemo treatment, but they are reported to be somewhat milder with this treatment, and I should be able to keep the hair this time around. 

As is our custom, Greg and I made sure we took a picture together at this appointment, and you'll find that below. 

P.S. The hair is coming back. It's short, but it's there. 

Cancer Musings (Last Radiation Treatment #20)

Today was my last radiation treatment (20 treatments over 4 weeks). By the grace of God, the side effects of radiation were relatively minor for me. I did not experience the fatigue others reported, and the skin irritation was  minimal. The emotional side effects of radiation treatments were far more difficult for me than the physical ones, which caught me by surprise. 

I will not miss the daily schedule of radiation treatments. It was tricky to balance my work schedule and daily appointments. Even though the treatments only lasted about 10 minutes, the whole process (with drive time) took about two hours out of the day. 

God did provide many blessings for me in the middle of radiation treatments, though. I met new people and shared in their stories, which helped me process my own. My compassion for those experiencing ongoing treatments for any disease has increased. May I never forget what it feels like to have someone enter into suffering with you and may I do the same for others. 

Cancer Musings( Radiation Treatment #19-Surprise Visit)

Today was my 19th radiation treatment. As I was walking into the building for my appointment, I heard someone call out my name. When I turned around I saw Pam. She is the one I met the day of my first treatment who also had her first treatment that day, had the same diagnosis as me, the same oncologist, and the same treatment plan. I hadn't seen her since the second week of treatment because she switched to morning appointments and mine are in the afternoon. 

She remembered the time of my appointments and made a special trip over to see me. She said she had lost the card I had given her with my phone number on it and came over to see if she could connect with me before my appointment. We texted each other in the lobby so we would have the other's phone number in the future. I was so touched by the effort she made to connect with me. Since our journeys are on a parallel path, it will be nice to keep in touch with her. And she's a beautiful person. Everytime I see her, I leave the conversation feeling joyful. I'm so grateful that God, in His sovereignty, allowed our paths to cross on the first day of radiation treatment. 

Cancer Musings (Radiation Treatment #17-explanations)

Today was radiation treatment #17 and the first boost treatment. The two techs who performed the treatments today were very friendly and kind. They explained to me that the radiation would focus on just the tumor bed for these last four treatments, the setup would look different than I was used to, there would be an attachment on the machine, the treatments would take less time, and I wouldn't have to hold my breath during the treatments. Then I was asked if I had any questions about these new treatments. That is the first time I've been asked by a tech if I had questions since this process began, and I appreciated it immensely. I was downright giddy about it. It was an answer to prayer for me and made me feel comfortable with the experience. 

I'm grateful for the radiation techs who know their job very well and perform it with precision. I'm very grateful to God for sustaining me through this whole journey, providing what I need every step of the way, and for knowing what I need better than I know it myself. He can be trusted.